I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
