somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
