it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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