So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
