I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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