check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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