Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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