They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
