pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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