This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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