piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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