we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
