you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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