Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
