So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
