I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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