Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
