He kissed a someone with a penis
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
