It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Randomize
