Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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