What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
