what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That accounts for only three of the penises
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
