Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
