He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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