New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my poor anus
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
