I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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