My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
