I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
