let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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