Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
