just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
