I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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