honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
