Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
