is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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