This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
