Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
