Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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