Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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