i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
