wrigley field is MILF paradise
well you can't waste a boner
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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