So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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