So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
