Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
