Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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