honey bunches of taint.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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