You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
