my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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