I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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