think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
